The Sock Drawer

Call for Entries: Fourth Annual Gold Toe Awards

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:55:00 +0000

Yes, it's the event you've been waiting for to fill that Midapray (mid-April through mid-May) void: The 2012 Gold Toe Awards! Put your thinking socks on and get ready for 30 days of eating, breathing and sleeping socks.

I hear two-time winner Orson S. will be back again to defend his title. With more and more socksters willingly participating, reluctantly participating, not realizing they are participating, or being born just in time to participate in this year's competition, each entry will be more important than ever. You will have to dig deep into your sock drawers for that extra special something.

Same rules as last year:
Submit any sort of sock-related item, or any sorted/unsorted socks as long as they're clean. Jokes, stories, drawings, photos (you get the picture) are also welcome, but keep those clean as well. The competition is strictly open to everyone. Official deadline is 12:00pm, May 16, 2012. Good luck!

Send entries to:
mirandaks@gmail.com

Contact me for my post box if you plan to mail an entry.

Charlotte's Socks

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:39:00 +0000

My sweet, sweet niece Charlotte shows off her new hospital socks on her second day of life. Yes, the socks are blue not pink, but you see, Charlotte is above all that color-specific nonsense. She's a walking contradiction of sorts. See what I mean? She doesn't even walk yet.

Is this an early submission to the later-than-usual 2012 Gold Toe Awards? Yep...more to come!

Sock swap

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 14:45:00 +0000

Whenever it's 102ºF outside, go ahead and change your socks midday. Well, that's what my fortune cookie said yesterday. And I always listen to the cookie.

All-Star Game

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 02:25:00 +0000

After the National League's recent 5-1 win in Arizona, I was inspired to take a look back at previous year's All-Star Game logos. While I'm a St. Louis Cardinals fan through and through, and we hosted the big game a couple of years ago, I have to admit my admiration for Boston's 1961 All-Star Game logo. I'm not sure what I find so striking, but it has a certain je ne sais quoi about it.

The Sock Drawer in London

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 11:15:00 +0000

Prior to a recent trip to London, The Sock Drawer was asked to contribute a post for The London Report, the city's best hand-drawn newsweekly.

To see my entry and other great London-related news, features, interviews, travel stories and fiction, visit: The London Report

Even the wind wears socks

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 00:47:00 +0000

How poignant.

Sock Summit 2011: They Come from a Galaxy Far Far Away

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Tue, 10 May 2011 15:53:00 +0000

This sock conference "explores the humble art form known as the sock." And, yes, I'm sure there will be plenty of reminiscing about the 2011 Gold Toe Awards, and excitement about the 2012 GT Awards.

Sock Summit 2011

Sock Stylin'

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:23:00 +0000

A Sock Drawer reader passed along this article from Meatpaper, so now I'll pass it along to you. That's just good table manners.

From Meatpaper.com:

I WAS GRILLING A JOHN LE CARRÉ NOVEL the other day when it occurred to me that the chauvinists of the world have been misunderstood: Treating someone like a piece of meat is a painstaking, attentive thing to do.

I’d learned this under the tutelage of Kim Konecny, a veteran food stylist who’s prepared and arranged edibles for everyone from Dreyer’s to the New York Times Magazine. I had invited Konecny into my kitchen to work her magic on a pork chop, and to learn some of that magic myself. Could it be applied to some non-meaty, everyday objects, I wondered? Is meat intrinsically photogenic, or can anything be made to look appetizing?

I had a clown nose, a sweat sock, a plush toy, and a spy novel that otherwise did little to water the mouth.

(Continue reading)

2011 Gold Toe Award Recipients

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:00:00 +0000

Drum roll please...

After carefully reviewing each and every Gold Toe Award entry, I have compiled the best of the best for your reading, viewing, and listening enjoyment.

The 2011 Gold Toe Award Grand Championship goes to the reigning 2010 Gold Toe Award Champion, Orson S., who has proven once again that great sock entries can be achieved at any age. Although knee-high to a grasshopper and modest of his prowess in the field of socks, this inspirational young man has the potential to walk (he is now walking) amongst the world's most accomplished sock artists (socksters).

Special Recipe

- Orson S.
London

Below is the full list of 2011 Gold Toe Award Runners-Up, chronologically listed by date of submission*. Congratulations to everyone who won!

* Best Sock Beverage Jokes category is listed in no particular order.

Most Interesting Story about Someone Not Interested in Something

I'm Not Interested In Getting My Socks Knocked Off

I don’t want my socks knocked off. I don’t know why someone would want their socks knocked off in the first place. I put my socks on for a reason. If I wanted them off, I would take them off. I would probably do it gently. I would not knock them off.

Usually when I am wearing my socks, I am wearing footwear like boots or shoes. If my socks get knocked off, they either have to knock off my shoes too or get crammed into a corner of the shoe while I am still wearing it, which sounds like NO FUN.

The question I have is “Why do you want to knock my socks off?” They’re my socks. Stop trying to knock them off. Stop it.

If you try and knock my socks off, you might get your block knocked off.

Period.

Knock off your own socks if you want to knock off some socks so bad.

- Mack D.
Wisconsin

Most Sock Jokes Submitted by One Person for Many Persons (SBOPFMP)

Q: What happened to Neil Armstrong's socks when he came back from the moon?
A: They got lost in the sockosphere

- Ernest
London

Q: What do Primal Scream say at a stripping festival?
A: Get your socks off, get your socks off honey

- Ian S.
London

Q: What happened to James Franco's washing when he was making 127 Hours?
A: It got stuck between a sock and a hard place

- Ian S.
London

Q: What did Napoloeon's socks say to his shoes at the Battle of Waterloo?
A: Don't be so deFEETist

- Ian S.
London

Q: What happened to Queen Elizabeth the First's shoes at night when she took them off?
A: They were kept under sock and key

- D.D.
London

Q: What do you cook knitting noodles in?
A: A sok pan of course

- Lucky D.

Crudest Sock Joke by Debbie D. not Liz D.

Q: What is another name for a condom?
A: c*ck sock

- Debbie D.
London

Best Words that Sound Like Varieties of Socks

Words that sound like varieties of socks I own, but aren’t.
• Fargyles
• Fold tow socks (non-Americans: this is a reference to the popular brand of socks found in the U.S., Gold Toe socks)
• Rube socks
• A nice pair of knitted wool socks (if someone wants this to be removed from the list, they can give me a nice pair of knitted wool socks—hint, hint)

- Matt S.
London

Best, Longest Gold Toe Award Entry in the History of The Gold Toe Awards

Socked on Wall Street

I got the news straight from my sock ticker, and it stunk like sour socks. First thing I did was tell my business partner, Steve “Socks” Sockston, that we were about to take a big kick in the socks. Socks and I ran a sock brokerage, trading and selling sock savings bonds, sock commodities and sock futures, and sometimes just socks.

I opened his office door, and I could tell that he hadn’t heard the news. He was sporting socks on his hands like mittens, he was chewing his favorite sock and was rakishly sporting his hat made of socks (he called it his “socking cap”). Also, he was juggling fifteen balled-up socks, amazingly, and said, “Whee! I love socks! Yeah!” He was overjoyed and looked to be at peace with the world and its splendid variety of socks. Even his cat, Socks the Cat, was having fun hopping and trying to bat the socks that Socks was juggling.

“It looks like you haven’t heard the news,” I told him. “The sock market went sock-down today.”

“Oh, no,” said Socks. Instantly, the socks he’d been juggling fell like a brief torrent of super-soft, awesome hail if hail were made of super-awesome socks.

“Yeah, it’s bad,” I said. I pulled a sock from my sock pocket and dabbed at my eyes, one of which was an artificial eye made of a very high-grade optical sock.

“How bad is it?” Socks said, removing his favorite chewing-sock from his mouth and putting it in its special drawer in his desk, which was made of socks and had drawers that were packed with socks from around the world. On his wall hung a framed sock, that was supposedly worn by William “Socks” Shakespeare, who popularized the terms “sock entrepreneur” and “socktrapreneur” in his sonnets.

“The Chairman of the Fed described the situation in an analogy,” I said. “He says it’s like the big giant sock holding up our economy got a hole worn in it and now the bottom has fallen out of the sock market,” I said. “It’s total sock devaluation.”

“Let’s get some hard sock numbers. What’s the sock exchange rate?” said Socks. “How many socks to a dollar?

“You’re not going to like this,” I said.

“Just tell me.”

“Four,” I said, knowing that that was the last number he wanted to hear, other than maybe five or six or seven or anything higher than that.

“Well, that’s the worst news I could’ve gotten since hearing that Shakespeare didn’t actually call his sonnets ‘socknnets,’” Socks said. “Give me a minute, I need to explain this to Socks the Cat.”

Socks picked up Socks the Cat and gave him a big hug and a sock. I could tell by the concerned look in the cat’s eye that he or she knew that something bad was going down, like it was time to be spayed or neutered or be dipped for fleas or his favorite sock had to be burned because it was flea-infested—but I bet it couldn’t have conceived in its little kitty mind just how bad this sock exchange rate was. I’ve dealt in a lot of commodities over the years but nothing was as volatile as socks. One day, you’re the coolest guy in the world, buying socks of Champagne for everyone at the club and the next minute you’re like Socks and I are now—two guys sitting on a pile of devalued socks explaining things to a cat.

“Meow, meow,” Socks said to Socks the Cat. “Meow.”

“Meow?” said Socks the Cat.

Socks nodded. “Meow, meow,” he said, then motioned toward me. Socks the Cat looked my way, as if he was expecting me to explain the major sock devaluation and explain how it was going to be better soon and that I could somehow convey all of that in cat language. (Really, I don’t know any more words in cat than I do in French. I can say, “Hello”/”Bon jour”/”Meow” and “Two tickets for the Eiffel Tower”/“Deux billets pour la Eiffel Tower”/”Meow” but none of that helps me address what is important.) (By “what is important,” I mean “socks.”)

I summoned all of my feelings and tried my best to convey them to Socks the Cat.

“Meow,” I said.

Socks the Cat started to cry. I’d never seen a cat cry before. He then jumped from Socks’ shoulder toward my face. I ducked and tossed Socks the Cat a sock, which seemed to pacify him.

“You need to work on your cat-speaking,” Socks told me.

I nodded and patted Socks the Cat on his head in a way that said, Sorry, I don’t speak cat language. Within a minute, it was clear that Socks the Cat and I were cool.

“Meow,” Socks the Cat said to me.

“Right back at you, Socks,” I said to the cat.

Socks the Cat then looked at me in a concerned way but with a glint of I’m ready to weather the storm with you and Socks. (Just as an aside, my name is Sock “Socky” Sockston. Look me up, should you ever need someone to be your agent in the world of sock commodity.)

“Things can only get better,” said Socks, giving Socks the Cat a reassuring pat on the back, which was covered in a sock. “I guess it’s times like these when it’s a good thing we diversified our investments. Let’s hope the stockings and footsies markets hold their value.”

I always appreciated Socks’ can-do attitude toward socks and associated markets.

“That’s right,” I said. “Plus, baby booties have been bullish all day.”

“Those booties are saving our booties right now!” Socks said.

Normally I wouldn’t laugh at something so stupid but today, after the bad news about socks and Socks the Cat jumping for my face, it seemed to be the most funny thing I’d heard. Socks was a regular William Shakespeare and Socks-phoclese and Michael Sockston (the artist who, as a tribute to Michael Jackson, recorded all of The King of Pop’s songs in a sock) rolled into one giant sock-ball that’s stored in a sock and foisted atop a gold-plated mountain of socks.

We shook hands, both of which were covered by socks. I walked through an opening in his office’s wall (the walls were made of socks) and returned to my desk, which was also made socks. I switched on my sock computer and glanced at my sock telephone then the sock-framed photo of my dog, Socks the Dog. Now that I think of it, everything in our office was made of socks.

“This is going to be a tough time but we’ll get through it,” I told the photo of Socks the Dog, which was printed on Kodak’s new Socks-infused printer paper. I knew I was going to lean hard for support from the Socks of Gibraltar in my life: my friends, Socks my boss, Socks the Cat, my faithful dog Socks the Dog, and, of course, my socks. I looked at my feet and realized I’d forgotten to put on my socks today. I ripped off my loafers then slipped on a pair of socks that I had been using as stationery. As I felt that snug cotton enveloping my feet, I knew that everything was getting better, as long as I wore my socks.

- Matt S.
London

Best Sock Beverage Jokes

Q: What do socks drink?
A: Saki.

- Carolee S.
London

Q: What is the smelliest drink you can drink?
A: Hot socklate

- Monty
London

Q. What drinks would you serve a footwear fancy dress party?
A. Mocka-socka-lattes

- Liz D.
London

Late Sock Beverage Entry:
Q: What's a sock fetishist's favourite drink?
A: A socktail

- Debbie S.
London

Best It's-Funny-Because-It's-True Sock and Washing Machine Joke

Q: What do you call it when only one sock comes out of the washing machine?
A: Fin de socle.

- Carolee S.
London

Most Truthful Sock Truths

Sock Truths

After seeing one too many cartoons in which people put money in socks, I began using a sock as a wallet. It worked just as well as my wallet, although my wallet was terrible at being a sock.

Other things that can be replaced by socks but are awful at doing the work of socks: lunchbags, gloves, mittens, pencil boxes, etc.

One of the greatest surprises ever found in a sock was a smaller pair of socks that contained an even smaller pair of socks that contained more than 100 gold coins! (This surprise was discovered by former U.S. president Andrew Jackson!)

One of the central claims of Plato’s Republic is that justice is not only desirable for its own sake, but that it maximizes the happiness of those who practice it. That also sort of applies to socks.

Socks that are worn to the gym are more valuable than socks folded in a drawer.

You don't need an excuse to wear your favorite socks but you may need an excuse if someone catches you wearing nothing but your favorite socks.

Some socks are pure evil.

In ancient Greece, a tailor asked Socrates, “Which sock is the most evil? Left or right?” Socrates shrugged and said, "That's a toughie."

Evil socks sometimes make good people do bad things. You don’t even want to know what I’m referring to. (Sorry, Gus!)

- Matt S.
London

Best Sock-Related Original Photography Taken in South City St. Louis

- Alex B.
St. Louis

Best Sock Entry Fake-Out

January 19, 2011 (12:17 pm):

I marked my calendar. I should have something to you around 11:30am on the 24th.

January 24, 2011 (11:30 am):
Nothing

January 24, 2011 (11:31 am):
Nothing

- Amanda P.
St. Louis

And last but not least...

Best Sock Jokes Conceived After a Lecture, while Inebriated and Digesting Breaded Prawns

A. How did the hosiers choose a new President?
Q. They voted with their feet.

Q. What is the foot fetishist's worst nightmare?
A. The 'sock block'.

- Liz D.
London

Spider Loves that Sweaty Sock Smell

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 14:18:00 +0000

A Sock Drawer reader has alerted me to a recent study about spiders, mosquitoes, and stinky socks. According to a recent article on the LiveScience website, stinky, smelly socks attract mosquitoes (so they can feed on ankles), spiders (so they can feed on mosquitoes), and people (so they can feed on...just kidding. The presence of mosquitoes and spiders indicate the socks should be washed more frequently).

Call for Entries: Third Annual Gold Toe Awards

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Yes, it's that time of year again. The time when I select a completely arbitrary day to start the Gold Toe Awards Competition. Now in its third year, the competition continues to grow. I can no longer count entries on one hand of fingers, so maybe this will be the year I start counting with my toes. No way! That would require removing my socks.

Will Orson S. return to defend his 2010 title? His multimedia joke submission edged above other excellent jokes, essays, plays, and photos from around the world. The stakes are high, and the steaks are juicy. The rewards are handsome, and the bragging rights are, well, braggy.

I think most of you know the rules, but for any newbies out there:
Submit any sort of sock-related item, or any sorted/unsorted socks as long as they're clean. Jokes, stories, drawings and photos are also welcome -- keep those clean as well. The competition is strictly open to friends, family, non-friends, non-family, sock-wearing pets, gray-sock squirrels, and semi-wild animals (those living in the woods, but have been exposed to modern conveniences such as socks). Official deadline is 12:00pm, February 24, 2011. Good luck!

Send entries to:
mirandaks@gmail.com

or

2011 Gold Toe Awards
P.O. Box 21743
St. Louis, MO 63109
USA

Darn good video of a Darn Good Sock Mill

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 03:47:00 +0000

Socks on Ears

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 18:05:00 +0000

I had something of a John Hawkes weekend. After watching him in Winter's Bone, I switched gears and watched him again in Miranda July's 2005 film Me and You and Everyone We Know. MAYAEWK is a great movie that I'd seen many times, but on this viewing I took notice of a scene in the shoe department where Christine (Miranda July) hangs a sock on each of her ears. I wish I could embed a video of the scene, but I couldn't find one. I did, however, find a link to Michael Andrews' corresponding song from the film. His final score: one sock-on-ear to one sock-on-ear. Evenly matched.

It's nice to know my nephew (Socks: Not Just for Feet Anymore) and Miranda July are still doing creative work with socks.

Blacksocks: Sock of the Month Club Club of the Month

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 03:34:00 +0000

Blacksocks is a sock delivery service, virtually eliminating two of life's most arduous tasks: buying black socks and then matching black sock to black sock. I can't help but think Clark Griswald would have been tickled pink to have received a subscription to a sock of the month club instead of jelly.

http://www.blacksocks.com/us

Sockarooni: Peppers, Spices, Socks & the Whole Shebang!

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 13:02:00 +0000

Finally, a sauce flavored with socks. Thank you, Paul Newman!

Odd Sock

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 17:20:00 +0000

I draw a lot of socks, but what strikes me about this particular sock is the speck of dust on its instep.

Socks for Happy People

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 12:32:00 +0000

My sister-in-law Carolee sent me a link to a London sock shop called Socks for Happy People. I'm not sure if they have any sort of measurement system to ensure only truly happy people purchase their Affirmation Socks, but if you encounter any issues, feel free to visit Socks for Sort of Happy People, or Socks for Not-Quite-Sure-About-Your-Mood People.

Learn about Socks for Happy People's buy one give one free initiative here. With each sock purchase, a pair of warm camel wool socks will be given to a child in Mongolia.

Socks Being Worn by Otherwise Apathetic Animals, Part 2: Octopus

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:53:00 +0000

Socks -- Not Just for Feet Anymore

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 13:32:00 +0000

The 2010 Gold Toe Awards have come and gone, but Orson S. continues to generate excitement for next year's competition. I have a feeling this little lad has some great ideas and tricks up his sleeve (probably socks) for 2011.

Soctagon

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 13:18:00 +0000

And the winners are...

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:13:00 +0000

I am happy to announce the 2010 Gold Toe Award recipients. 2010 has been a year of many firsts, the most important being the new list of winning categories for the Gold Toe Awards:

The 2010 Gold Toe Award Grand Champion goes to a charming little lad in London. Orson S. has raised the bar with his multi-media joke entry, dabbling in spoken sock and socktography.

Best Knock Knock Sock Sock Joke:

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Sockrates.
Sockrates who?
It's just Sockrates.

- Carolee S.
London
UK

Best Sock Joke Americans Will Not Understand Without Explanation:

What did the lawyer say to her socks?
A: "I'll see you in court shoes!" (ba da bing! this joke is incredibly funny in England where such a thing as 'court shoes' exist and are smart shoes that a lady lawyer might wear)

- Liz D.
London
UK

Most Timely Sock Joke:

What’s been particularly volatile this year?
A: The sock market.

- Matt S.
London
UK

Best Short Essay about a Sock:

When I was growing up I only wanted one thing: a giant sock that I could wear. There were, I figured, lots of benefits to wearing just one giant sock. For one thing, it would be easy to get dressed: just jump into your sock, pull it up over your shoulders and, voila, time to go play. For my socksth, er, I mean sixth birthday, my parents got me that giant sock and was I ever a happy. I wore that sock every day and every night. Over the next several years I became a successful entrepreneur. I think my success is attributable to my wardrobe: I still wear a giant sock every day but now that I’m an adult I also have a giant shoe.

-Matt S.
London
UK

Best Sailor Sock Joke to Tell to all Your Sailor Friends:

Where do sailors leave their boating socks?
A: In the sockyard.

- John S.
London
UK

Best Sock Joke to Tell with a Sockney Accent:

What do you call a sock from the east end?
A: Sockney

- Montgomery S.
London
UK

Best Cat-in-Sock-on-the-Web Photo

- Alex B.
Saint Louis, MO
USA

Best Excuse for not Entering the Gold Toe Awards:

List of Excuses Why I Did Not Submit An Entry to the 2010 Gold Toe Awards:
Thought I had more time
Thought it had to be a picture
I don't have a camera
I forgot
I remembered, but then forgot again
I am watching the St. Louis Cardinals home opener
Now my dog needs to go out
I have no inspiration
I sprained my ankle
I miss Rick Ankiel
Lunchtime!
I am back, but uninspired
Socks are so last season
I really doubt I could beat a cute little baby
Well, I think I could beat a cute little baby but the judge is a little biased
Doubt the prize is that great
I never win anything anyway
I suck

- Amanda P.
Saint Louis, MO
USA

Thanks for the great response. Please stay tuned for the awards ceremonies.

2010 Gold Toe Award Entries

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 16:42:00 +0000

The long awaited 2010 Gold Toe Award entries are posted. I received wonderful submissions from all corners of the world. Well, two corners of the world--Saint Louis, MO, USA and London, UK--with an overwhelming response from folks in London. This confirms my theory that Londoners have a lot to say about foot coverings that reach a point between the ankle and the knee.

Thanks to everyone who contributed this year! You are all Gold Toe Award winners at heart, but the real life Gold Toe Award winners will be revealed later this week.

Category: Jokes

What did the lawyer say to her socks?
A: I'll see you in court shoes! (Ba da bing! This joke is incredibly funny in England where such a thing as 'court shoes' exist and are smart shoes that a lady lawyer might wear.)
What do you call an eight-legged cat with a penchant for hosiery?
A: A socktopus
What did the rooster say when he woke up in the lingerie department?
A: Sock-a-doodle-do!

- Liz D.
London
UK
Where do sailors leave their boating socks?
A: In the sockyard.

- John S.
London
UK
What do you call a sock from the east end?
A: Sockney
Have you heard the one about the gym sock?
A: It stinks.

- Montgomery S.
London
UK

Orson's sock joke (audio file below):

London
UK

How many socks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Socks-teen.
What did one sock say to the other?
A: Your momma’s so smelly her owner wears sandals.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Sockrates.
Sockrates who?
It's just Sockrates.

- Carolee S.
London
UK

What’s been particularly volatile this year?
A: The sock market.
What flies across the sky and is enclosed by a knitted shield?
A: A shooting star in a sock.

- Matt S.
London
UK

Category: Short Essays, Dramas, Drama Quizzes, Musical Interpretations, & Who'd've thunk it?

In what play is this excerpt found?
Left sock: I’ve got King Henry’s foot covered.
Right sock: You must be mistaken. I’ve got our dear king’s foot covered.
Left sock: We’ve been over this a thousand times—
Right sock: I cover his foot as a royal sock should.
Left sock: True, and I’m covering his other foot. We’re a pair of socks.
Right sock: I forgot!
ANSWER: “Henry IV, Part Three” by William Socks-peare

- Matt S.
London
UK
When I was growing up I only wanted one thing: a giant sock that I could wear. There were, I figured, lots of benefits to wearing just one giant sock. For one thing, it would be easy to get dressed: just jump into your sock, pull it up over your shoulders and, voila, time to go play. For my socksth, er, I mean sixth birthday, my parents got me that giant sock and was I ever a happy. I wore that sock every day and every night. Over the next several years I became a successful entrepreneur. I think my success is attributable to my wardrobe: I still wear a giant sock every day but now that I’m an adult I also have a giant shoe.

-Matt S.
London
UK
Songs that would have appeared on Highway 61 Revisited if Bob Dylan was really into socks:
1. Like a Rolling Stone in a Sock
2. Tombsock Blues
3. It Takes a Lot to Laugh at a Sock, It Takes a Train to Cry over a Sock
4. From a Sock 6
5. Ballad of a Thin Man in Socks
6. Queen Jane Appsocksimately
7. Highway Soxty-one Revisited and Paved with Socks
8. Just Sock Tom Thumb's Blues
9. Desocklation Row
10. (bonus track) Sock-Eyed Lady of the Sockland (recorded live at the Sockland Sock Festival, Sockland, North Sockota)

- Matt S.
London
UK

From the “Who’d’ve thunk it” department: We sometimes say “That sucks!” to express a disappointing turn of events. The corresponding phrase to express a positive turn of events was originally “That socks!” . . . . Unfortunately, those fat cats in Washington rejected the sock-based phrase because it was deemed “too similar to the negative phrase.”

-Matt S.
London
UK

Category: Photos Combining Socks with Very Cute Things (Original photography or from the Internet)

- Orson S.
London
UK

- Alex B.
Saint Louis, MO
USA

Category: Excuses for Not Entering

List of Excuses Why I Did Not Submit An Entry to the 2010 Gold Toe Awards:
Thought I had more time
Thought it had to be a picture
I don't have a camera
I forgot
I remembered, but then forgot again
I am watching the St. Louis Cardinals home opener
Now my dog needs to go out
I have no inspiration
I sprained my ankle
I miss Rick Ankiel
Lunchtime!
I am back, but uninspired
Socks are so last season
I really doubt I could beat a cute little baby
Well, I think I could beat a cute little baby but the judge is a little biased
Doubt the prize is that great
I never win anything anyway
I suck

- Amanda P.
Saint Louis, MO
USA

Call for Entries: Second Annual Gold Toe Award

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:10:00 +0000

Submit any sort of sock-related item, or any sorted/unsorted socks as long as they're clean. Jokes, stories, drawings and photos are also welcome -- keep those clean as well. Read about the 2009 Gold Toe Award Winner for inspiration. Under normal circumstances, friends and family members of The Sock Artist would be ineligible for the 2010 Gold Toe Award. However, that would eliminate my entire readership so it's strictly open to friends, family, non-friends and non-family only. Official deadline is 12:00pm, April 10, 2010. Anticipating the massive amounts of entries I'll be receiving, the official winner of the 2010 Gold Toe Award will be announced at 12:01pm, April 10, 2010. Good luck!

2010 Gold Toe Awards
P.O. Box 21743
St. Louis, MO 63109
USA

Christmas Socks

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:58:00 +0000

I wanted to make a batch of Christmas socks last night, but I ran out of butter.

Thanks

noreply@blogger.com (Miranda) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:11:00 +0000

In this painting "The First Thanksgiving" (1915), by American painter Jean Louis Gerome Ferris, Native Americans and blue-socked Pilgrims were thankful for a bountiful harvest. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for a bountiful family (including my awesome 2-week-old nephew), friends, food on my feet and socks on the table. I mean food on the table and socks on my feet. Happy Thanksgiving!